This week I have been reading a book, written by Rebecca St. James, called SHE. Like I have said before, I do not typically discuss religion or politics on my blog. Not that I am against it (quite the opposite), I just don't. However, Rebecca St. James is a Christian recording artist. SHE is a book about empowering women, without the "I am woman, hear me roar" philosophy.
It talks about how to have a happy and healthy existence, regardless of where you are in your walk through this thing called life. There have been several passages in the book that have SCREAMED my name. She talks about self-esteem issues (What? Who me? Low self-esteem? Nooo...), freedom, love, life, intimacy (the depth of your relationships/friendships), and a lot more.
Her book has really hit home for me in a lot of areas. It is like she has written this book just for me. I am finally starting to feel the freedom she talks about. Knowing that I am not defined by my life circumstance. Or at least, I don't have to be. It's my choice. And while, I may have to work hard at it, I can overcome anything. I am capable of love, and being loved. I am uniquely and wonderfully made. I am me, and I am enough. I don't have to conform to what the world thinks of as "beautiful". I mean, let's face it, I will NEVER be supermodel material. And that's ok.
I don't have to settle for anything, just because society says I do. I can live my life the way I am meant to live it. And I can be HAPPY living that life. I have taken the last month or so to work on my emotional healing (for a couple of reasons, I needed to do this). One thing I discovered while doing this is that I had no idea how much I had changed. And not necessarily in a good way. I had no idea how hurt I really was. And not just by one source. The month I took to myself was needed far more than I could have imagined. I am ok with the way things have ended up. Not happy about all of it, but ok. I have come to realize that it is what it is, and I am not the one who can change the situations. They are in the hands of others. The ball is in their court, so to speak. It may stay this way forever, but at least I can live with the fact that I tried my hardest. I hope that one day things change, but until they do I am going to go on with my life and happiness.
I have come to realize the extreme importance of my family and my friends. They are the ones who will reach down and pull you up by your boot straps when you fall. They will surround you with more love, support, and compassion that you deserve. And the people who are true in your life will never ever turn their back on you. No matter how far you fall. No matter how much faith you lose in yourself, they never lose hope. And in the end they are the ones who will help you put the pieces of your life back together again.
And if the circumstances ever do change, I will be here to be that friend for them. They may not need it or want it now. Or ever. But just in case there is a slight chance they do. I will be here. I won't turn my back on them. Ever. I will help them carry the load and put the pieces back together.
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