Lately I have been thinking a lot about my Grandpa (Mom's dad). He passed away in November and I still really miss him. We were like two peas in a pod. Especially when it came to Georgia Tech sports. He was a Tech graduate and planted my love for the team at an early age.
Anyways... I started wondering how long it takes to stop missing someone. And I came up with this... you don't. It gets a little easier with time, but you still miss certain things. You always will. But I guess to completely understand where I am coming from, I guess I need to give you a little background info. You see, my Grandpa and I did not have a "typical" relationship towards the end. I was lucky enough to spend a period of time this summer as his caregiver on the night shift. I helped feed him, give him his meds, take care of personal needs, etc. So he depended on me a lot. What he did not realize was that I was depending on him too. I knew he needed me. And I needed him.
Another thing you should probably know is that until I was in college he never said "I love you." We just knew he did. But he would always tell us to "Be sweet." when it was time for us to leave or hang up the phone. One day it hit me... that was his way of telling us that he loved us. So the next time, I saw him when I was leaving, I just looked him in the eye and said "I sure do love you." He smiled and said "Well, I sure do love you too sugar." I will NEVER forget that. And from that moment on, there was not a time we talked that we didn't tell each other we loved the other.
And since he has been gone, it has made me realize that maybe when other relationships end you will always miss certain things about that person. Maybe not. But at one point, you will more than likely become mature adults and can be civil with each other. Who knows? Maybe you can even be friends. You never know. Because if you can't at least be civil, you may just miss out on one of the best friendships ever.
I wish that he was still here so that I could tell him how much I love him. How much I needed him. Even in the end. I know that he knew. Because I could see it in his eyes. And I know that he loved me too. But I still wish that I could just get the chance to tell him exactly how much. So... Be sweet Granddaddy, and I love you.
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